Episode 2: Life unscripted 8/28/21

 My life runs unscripted.  Just as soon as I think I know what will happen, or in the moment I think I have a handle on it all, a supporting character will throw in a whammy and I will go right back to improv-ing my way through the scene.

Shortly after I started this blog, which I had all mapped out in my mind how I would walk my reader through divorce, the bitterness, the hate, and the healing my family and I went through to get to the point of coparenting and working together for the good of our family, somebody threw a surprise twist into our lives and I realized I know nothing about how to proceed through divorce.  It has been 17 months since the whammy, and this is what I know of divorce:

13 years into it, and it can still bring me to my knees.  

13 years into it, and my ex-husband still has the power to break my heart.

13 years into it, and I am still shocked by the pain it inflicts.

13 years into it, and I still cannot protect my children from its wrath.

Did I mention that divorce never stops hurting?

I realize now that it can take a break, give you a pleasant period of calm, but divorce will never leave you to your peace.  

I guess this is all I really know:  I will do anything to protect my children.  I will fight any battle and I will not back down.  I will give up all that I have, all that I have worked for and bled for and cried for to keep them safe and to make them know how loved and valued they are.  I will take upon me any burden to keep it from breaking them.  And I will stand in the path of the blame and the rage and the bitterness and the cruelty that other humans direct at them.  When I cannot stand between them and the hate, I will be here to hold them, support them, cry with them, find ways to heal them and remind them of their worth.  I will be their staunchest protector, their greatest supporter and their loudest cheerleader until my dying breath.  

But as far as divorce goes, I've got nothing.